by Caroline Evans
America first began officially celebrating Mother’s Day in the early 1900s. Ironically, among other things, the motive to establish it was for mothers to come together and protest their sons killing each other in war. A second purpose was to comfort each other due to their loss and finally to celebrate mothers in general. Seldom are the first two reasons mentioned today.
There are few things that are as satisfying as being a mother, and over the years Mother’s Day has become exciting, fun and a time to make the mother of the household feel special and appreciated. However, the sad reality of it is, as the rest of society is motivated to get into the spirit of that day by the onslaught of commercials and decorations, far too many mothers’ anticipation of that day causes them to sink deeper into sadness and depression.
Many times the depression they experience daily due to the loss of their child fuels, multiplies and heightens their struggle. And when asked about their pain, these moms will relive the tragic event as if it happened minutes ago.
The sad fact is no one knows the depth of hurt, pain and depression a mother feels at the news of losing her child. Nothing opens our hearts, minds and spirits up to God like a death.
No one knows the depth of hurt, pain and depression a mother feels at the news of losing her child. The depression she experiences daily due to the loss of her child fuels, multiplies and heightens her struggle on Mother’s Day.
We can only imagine what Mary felt when Jesus, her Son, was hanging on the cross. The Bible tells us that Mary was one of the observers watching the crucifixion of Jesus. She gave birth to Him, nurtured Him, was there when He healed the masses. She witnessed His perfect life, yet she watched Him suffer the most debased kind of death of that time.
What did she feel – having been taught and convinced that the God of Abraham would always protect her and her family, that He would never let her down? What was going through her mind as Jesus Himself screamed in agony, Father? Where are YOU? She had to have struggled to feel, sense and believe that God loved her, loved her Son, loved us.
Her agony, pain, fear and hopelessness is not unlike what these moms feel today. How do you go on? How do you put things back together when the floor has just been snatched from under you? How do you get past the constant ache in the stomach and wondering – if God can see, does He care? Is there hope?
The answer is … Yes, there is hope! AND a path out from under the depression grief brings. Not only are the scriptures filled with stories showing us that people have had to, since time began, deal with tragedies, but they show us how to walk out of all of life’s horrendous conditions.
Doctors say there are a series of emotions we go through when faced with tragic deaths. They are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, the feeling of hopelessness, failure, bitterness and self pity. It’s when we’re stuck in the loop of these emotions that our lives become snared and we’re unable to function.
David described his depression and decided to not let it take control of his life.
Psalm 42, Verse 5: “Why are you cast down, O my inner self? And why should you moan over me and be disquieted within me? Hope in God and wait expectantly for Him, for I shall yet praise Him, my Help and my God.”
Verse 9: “I will say to God, my Rock, Why have You forgotten me? Why go I mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?”
Steps to take
1. Recognize the depression is due to grief and the fact that you need to address it.
2. Reexamine what it is you believe about God, our Creator. When we don’t sense or believe that God loves us, we won’t believe the peace ONLY HE CAN BRING is ours to experience and or receive.
How we as a society see God today is for the most part in direct opposition to how the scriptures describe Him. He loves us and proved His love when He sent His Son to die in our place so we can seek and experience HIS peace. And again understanding Him and who He is IS the answer to us healing properly from grief. His Son, Jesus, died for us to have peace. He died to make us right in God’s sight.
Romans 5.1 says: “Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us.”
Doctors also insist that when we break a bone, it’s extremely important to set the bone back in place or the individual is guaranteed to have a problem with the breakage for life. The same is true for grief. We must put things in the proper perspective to heal emotionally and spiritually after experiencing a death in our families.
3. Understand and know that the Bible clearly describes an enemy to mankind, and it’s this enemy that seeks to destroy our lives, NOT our Creator. God didn’t cause the loss. This is important us for to know and believe, because it’s not possible to trust, seek and rest in someone we have decided has hurt us.
1 Peter 5.8: “Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.”
Verse 10: “And the God of all grace … will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.”
When you resolve that God loves you and you have access to His peace and finally that it’s mankind’s mortal enemy that seeks to destroy our lives, you can begin to daily put the next step into practice.
4. Seek out and apply the word of God as much and as often as you need to, and you’ll find the grief subsiding. You’ll begin to heal from the wound and pain, and you’re able to live life again.
The word of God says He sent His word to heal us. This includes how we feel emotionally.
Psalm 107.20: “He sent His word and healed them, and delivered them from their destructions.”
Below are some of the scriptures you must know and plant in your heart and mind. But you must decide to address it.
Isaiah 61.3 tells us that we CAN put on “the garment of praise INSTEAD of the spirit of depression.”
Jesus died for you to be able to do this, do it in His name. “Put on the garment of praise” literally means to be “wrapped up in praise.” God has given it to you to put on. Take action – including adoration, thanksgiving, singing and glorifying God and not blaming Him.
Finally, remember the Bible also tells us that none of us can know what’s going happen tomorrow … that our lives, at best, are as a mist.
James 4.14: “Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.”
It is our prayer that you and your family can begin to celebrate Mother’s Day knowing that God, our Creator, loves us the way we loved our children and that He is there to comfort us.
Caroline Evans of The Healing of a Nation Ministries can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.